Razume

Member: Keppie Careers

Keppie Careers's Resumes

Keppie Careers's Reviews

  • stacey's resume by mats13
    6 December 2008, 07:00 PM

    61.0
    When you are actually doing this type of work, what skills are you using? Your letter should focus more on those skills...Maybe choose some more along the lines you list in the resume. You could also use a stronger focus on verb tense in the resume - your points would read more smoothly. You can bulk this up a bit to include examples of these skills you say you have. See samples on my website. (Link below.) Good luck! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Keppie Careers

  • Baisc by ljshoemake
    6 December 2008, 05:18 PM

    53.4
    You should revise this significantly if you'd like it to help you get a job! Take a look at some samples (I have some on my site) for format ideas - you don't list addresses of employers, for example. Also, listing personal interests is iffy, but certainly not at the top of a resume. Unfortunately, noting your 25 years of experience is not likely to be a strong advantage. Nor is the focus on wanting to advance. No one wants to hire someone with an eye out the door. I can help you put this resume in shape to help you compete in today's job market. Review my site (below) and let me know if you're interested in a quote. Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Keppie Careers

  • Danny Segelke by roxiemia
    6 December 2008, 05:12 PM

    44.8
    You really need a revision here if you expect your resume to open any doors. You really need to focus on your skills here. Also, only list certifications that are key to the job. Your education should go at the end. You should look into a more eye pleasing format. I have several on my site. Overall, a real revision is in order. I'm happy to help and invite you to review my blog and site. Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Keppie Careers

  • Brenda Segelke by roxiemia
    6 December 2008, 05:07 PM

    0.0
    You could use a little more depth to your descriptions here. Focus on your skills. Look at some sample resumes (I have some on my site, listed below), for formats and details such as the fact that you don't need to list the actual start date for your job. I have a lot of free advice on my site, and I hope you'll visit! Good luck! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Keppie Careers

  • 8r by cookeaj1
    6 December 2008, 04:53 PM

    41.0
    Wow...There is an awful lot to get through here. I would totally revise this resume if you really want to get through the screening process. Honestly, I can hardly get through it myself! You need to think about some bullet points, focusing your skills and accomplishments and targeting this to exactly what you want to highlight. "US Citizen" is not a skill, so should not be listed on your resume. I think this resume makes it very difficult for anyone to figure out what you want to do, which is not a good approach. I hope you'll take a look at my blog and site. I offer a lot of free information as well as list my services there. Good luck! Keppie Careers Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Administrative by marycmiller83
    6 December 2008, 04:49 PM

    62.0
    The key thing for you is to focus on how you are wording your descriptions - including verb tense - and also be sure to include what accomplishments you offer. Employers want you to make it very clear what you can do for them. This format is a little thick - too many words in a row - and probably too many bullet points. (Also, I'd add periods to all of these.) You have a great start here, and it probably wouldn't take much to fix. I could offer you a deal on a resume edit to get you started! Feel free to contact me and to view my website and blog full of free information: Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Elissa Feldman by Elfeld
    25 November 2008, 10:51 PM

    64.2
    Your resume needs to be more than just a list of stuff you've done. Look at my website for samples Keppie Careers Think about re-organizing this to focus on skills instead of stuff you've done. You will do much better to connect with employers if you can show what you've done instead of just list things. I have a lot of free advice on my blog. Take a look and let me know if I can help! Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Kathryn's Resume by murphysmom
    25 November 2008, 10:48 PM

    41.8
    You obviously have a lot to offer, but this format makes it really hard to find. I'd redesign this to make it look like one of my sample resumes: Keppie Careers Bullet points and a clear focus on skills and accomplishments will be key for you. You need to list more than duties - include how you had an impact. Ask yourself - "so what?" Answer it! I invite you to visit my blog and site for lots of free advice. best, Miriam Salpeter

  • debra by debralove
    25 November 2008, 10:45 PM

    67.8
    Debra, You should get this to one page only. Put your education at the end at this point. Objectives are a bit outdated - consider a skills or accomplishments section instead. I have samples on my site: Keppie Careers Don't put more than 5 or 6 bullet points - the long list is too overwhelming. Consider breaking it up into skills and accomplishments if you must list so many things. Make sure you include results. You did these things, but what impact did you have? This is really important! I write tons of free advice and welcome you to visit my blog: Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • Administrative Assistant by chrilow
    25 November 2008, 10:41 PM

    84.2
    Nice format - consider shortening the paragraph a bit at the top. Make sure you keep the headers consistent (see the circled sections). Think about this - you did all of these things, but what were the RESULTS? What skills did you use to do them? Incorporate these and your resume will shine! I have samples on my site and articles about resume writing: Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • Goal Oriented Professional by raphealbrad
    25 November 2008, 10:36 PM

    56.0
    I think you can make several updates to fuel your search. While your objective isn't bad, you could do better with a focused skills or accomplishments section. Take a look at the samples on my site for ideas: Keppie Careers Move your education to the bottom and play up your work experience more. I'd suggest getting this to one page - fuller pages will make you seem much more experienced. Think about all of your skills (I have a list under Free Advice on my site for your reference). Play those up here. You can make a strong connection with employers with a little more work. Let me know if I can help! Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Admin Asst - corporate & non-profit by ramoyer
    25 November 2008, 10:31 PM

    0.0
    Consider putting your dates in the education section! Many employers want to see dates. I'd take off the graphic. Overall, very nice, but a little too much focus on the "stuff" you've done. I'd suggest backing up and emphasizing your accomplishments and skills more. What were the results of your work? Include more of this. Also, take a look at the samples on my site for ideas to revise the top of your resume...You can get lots more bang for your buck! Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Melvin L. Fogle by shawnfogle
    24 November 2008, 11:56 AM

    96.8
    This looks great! Much improved. Try to avoid passive voice. Example: US Transportation Command adopted instead of what you have here. Focus a bit more on accomplishments. Add results whenever possible. Avoid hanging one word over to the next line - it's a waste of your space. Include your name, email and page 1 of 2, page 2 of 2 in footer. Great! Hope you'll subscribe to my blog and send your friends! Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • Anne Ohman by A Ohman
    20 November 2008, 11:57 PM

    52.8
    I don't think your "cover letter" is doing you much good here. It is way too general. Cover letters need to be targeted for the specific organization. I'd suggest a lot of work on the format of this resume. Review some at my website (below). Good start incorporating skills and accomplishments. Don't say I, me or my in a resume - it is implied. Say "Supported," not "I supported." I have tons of free advice on my site and I'd be happy to help. You have great potential here, but I wouldn't go to market with this version. Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • MG2008 by Felix Dill
    20 November 2008, 11:45 PM

    69.6
    T.B. It is best to create a resume using bullet points so it is easier for people to skim it. I'd advise that you re-do this to focus on your skills and experiences (and accomplishments) that will help make you look more qualified for your target job. Look at Pharmacy Tech job descriptions and see what skills they want. Then, highlight your descriptions to target those skills. Also, at this point, you will need to move your education to the bottom of the resume. Verb tenses for current jobs should be in present tense: "Promote," "Compile." You think of it as if you are saying "I____." But, you don't say I! It's not in the 3rd person, as in, "She promotes." I have some samples on my website and a lot of information on my blog about resume writing that would help. I'd be happy to hear from you if you'd like some professional assistance, but check my blog and site for lots of free tips: Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • T.B. by bean
    20 November 2008, 11:44 PM

    47.6
    T.B. It is best to create a resume using bullet points so it is easier for people to skim it. I'd advise that you re-do this to focus on your skills and experiences (and accomplishments) that will help make you look more qualified for your target job. Look at Pharmacy Tech job descriptions and see what skills they want. Then, highlight your descriptions to target those skills. Also, at this point, you will need to move your education to the bottom of the resume. Verb tenses for current jobs should be in present tense: "Promote," "Compile." You think of it as if you are saying "I____." But, you don't say I! It's not in the 3rd person, as in, "She promotes." I have some samples on my website and a lot of information on my blog about resume writing that would help. I'd be happy to hear from you if you'd like some professional assistance, but check my blog and site for lots of free tips: Keppie Careers Best, Miriam Salpeter

  • Riaz Salehbhai Resume 3.0 by gtg686x
    5 September 2008, 11:17 PM

    61.2
    Thanks for asking for a review! I hope my comments are helpful. You have a lot more potential here for a great resume. Think of every line on your resume as key real estate. The most "expensive" is the header - the top 1/3rd of your resume. You are wasting yours by listing a bunch of awards and affiliations that don't mean anything to most readers. Take a look at my samples for ideas. I'm happy to help if you have questions. Email to results@keppiecareers.com. Always happy to help another person in Atlanta! Let me know if you want to contract for more help! Best, Miriam

  • Foreign Exchange Dealer by Ali Ansari
    7 August 2008, 12:05 AM

    74.8
    A good start. Take a look at my samples on my site: www.keppiecareers.com. Yes, use bullet points. Too many long paragraphs. Move education to bottom. Focus on skills and accomplishments! Good luck! Miriam

  • CAPL Assignment by brookecapl
    14 June 2008, 11:41 PM

    0.0
    Brooke - I would suggest a lot of work on this resume. I assume the format issues are something to do with translating it for razume? This resume is missing a lot of basic resume qualifications. I'd suggest doing some research, considering your skills and asking for some advice from those in your field. I'd be happy to help you. I hope you'll look at my blog for ideas: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com. Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Computer Technician Resume by bryce
    27 May 2008, 06:18 PM

    29.3
    comments...

  • Resume by dsarin
    24 April 2008, 08:13 PM

    84.2
    Thanks for requesting a review. Overall, a very nice presentation. Take a look at my sample resumes: www.keppiecareers.com for ideas about how to make a highlights section and incorporate more skills and accomplishments. Incorporate more results when you can and spend less time on lists of things. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to assist. Best, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com

  • Analyst2 by Rukasu
    20 April 2008, 02:01 PM

    84.6
    Some great experience here. Try to make better use of skills and describe accomplishments. Vary your language and be more descriptive. I'm happy to help. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com

  • Functional Resume by SThomasCAPL398A
    20 April 2008, 01:46 PM

    67.2
    I think you could do a lot more here to advance your goals. I am happy to help. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com

  • Startup-Tested UW MS Comp. Sci. by lritter
    9 April 2008, 11:54 PM

    63.2
    Interesting... I'd suggest taking a look at some resume formats on razume or other websites. Never say "I" in a resume. I've never seen a date in a resume nor advised one at the top. I'm assuming the logo would make sense if I knew your name? Focus more on skills...Feel free to review info on resumes on my blog: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com. You'll want to do some work on this resume to ensure it is highlighting all you have to offer. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com

  • Elaine McGill by temcgill
    9 April 2008, 11:37 PM

    91.6
    Looks good. A few minor edits suggested in text. Grey highlighted bullet is a bit too text rich - consider breaking them down a bit. Good luck! Let me know if I can assist. We're local, so my network may help you. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com

  • Junior Acctg Student by alimat
    9 April 2008, 11:29 PM

    82.2
    Great start! I'd do a bit of work to help the reader envision you working for them. Good luck! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com

  • Draft 3 of Management Consulting Internship Resume by danielvh
    9 April 2008, 11:21 PM

    90.4
    Daniel - You've done a great job focusing on accomplishments. I'd advise less lists (people don't tend to read them, anyway) and more focus on your skills in a highlights or skills section at the top. Good luck! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • Big 4 Resume by Big4
    9 April 2008, 11:11 PM

    89.0
    Looks very nice...Some suggestions to consider. Include more accomplishments. Think "resulted in..." and say how! Should the Lehman and Citigroup jobs be reversed? Dates are a bit confusing, as you have 2005 working for both. Good luck! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers

  • I-Banking. First Trial by investion
    25 March 2008, 11:53 PM

    25.0
    I'd advise a total revision. Review some samples and consider your skills and accomplishments. I am happy to help if you'd like assistance. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured Expert Razume Reviewer www.keppiecareers.com

  • Main by BrianFricke
    25 March 2008, 11:43 PM

    79.6
    Hello! Overall, I really like the look of your resume. However, you should include bullet points to help the reader get through it. See comments in the text and body..."Punctual" isn't really an impressive skill for the top - choose something else :-) I'm happy to help if you need it! Good luck, Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured Expert Razume Reviewer www.keppiecareers.com

  • Rate Me, Berate Me.. 2 by peppy
    17 March 2008, 11:27 PM

    61.0
    Nick, You have the right idea, but the wrong way of showing it! I would be happy to help you. Please review my website and blog: www.keppiecareers.com and www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com for more ideas! Miriam Salpeter Featured expert Razume reviewer miriam@keppiecareers.com

  • LChavez by lindac
    11 March 2008, 09:43 PM

    46.4
    You have a lot to offer, but this resume isn't taking you where you want to go. I'd suggest a complete revision and reformat to compete successfully. I hope you'll look at my sample resumes for some ideas. I'd be happy to assist if you'd like to revise and email it to me. Remind me that we "met" on Razume if you do send something! Miriam Salpeter Featured expert Razume reviewer Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com miriam@keppiecareers.com

  • Supply Chain Solutions by vb
    11 March 2008, 09:32 PM

    49.2
    I'd make a lot of changes here. I hope you'll take a look at my site and blog for a lot more ideas: www.keppiecareers.com and www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com. I am happy to help. Contact me at: miriam@keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter Featured expert razume reviewer

  • test by clinton2
    11 March 2008, 09:21 PM

    48.8
    You can do a lot with this to make it easier to read. I am happy to help. Please review my website and blog for more information about me: www.keppiecareers.com and www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com Miriam Salpeter Featured expert Razume reviewer. If you'd like to touch base or have questions, feel free to email me: miriam@keppiecareers.com

  • Recent Resume by JSlovesBM
    9 March 2008, 11:20 PM

    52.4
    Hi! I'd suggest a lot of work on this. I have many resources on www.keppiecareers.com and my blog: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com for more information. I'm happy to help if you e-mail me: results@keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured expert razume reviewer

  • Part-time, Customer Service, Communications by Chtrini
    9 March 2008, 11:12 PM

    55.0
    Christine, I would suggest a one-page resume. I assume you are in Canada? I would typically advise an American client to emphasize education at the top at your stage of the game, but not so much of the education. I'd reformat to take less space for education. In general, reformatting, moving to one page and focusing on skills would help you! See my sample resumes and more info on my sites: www.keppiecareers.com and blog: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com I'm happy to help! Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured razume expert reviewer results@keppiecareers.com

  • Healthcare resume update by aricross
    4 March 2008, 04:23 PM

    45.6
    I would suggest revising this quite a bit to include skills and accomplishments and to sound a lot more active and interesting. Consider a "Highlights of Qualifications" section to help steer the reader where you want to go. You are really asking a lot from your readers right now, and most won't stop to try to figure out what you can do for them. I would be happy to help you revise this resume. Take a look at my website and blog: www.keppiecareers.com and www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com for more information about my business. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured expert Razume reviewer miriam@keppiecareers.com

  • MDF Lyons by mdflyons
    3 March 2008, 09:46 PM

    0.0
    See notes at left! I'm happy to help. See my sites for more information: www.keppiecareers.com www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured expert razume reviewer www.keppiecareers.com

  • MDF Lyons by mdflyons
    3 March 2008, 09:45 PM

    0.0
    See notes at left! I'm happy to help. See my sites for more information: www.keppiecareers.com www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers Featured expert razume reviewer www.keppiecareers.com

  • Communications Resume by Lyle
    3 March 2008, 09:27 PM

    28.8
    There's not a lot here, so I assume you really haven't worked on this, yet. You should really take a look at some sample resume (review others on the site if you like) and a skills list to get you thinking. You still have time to get some more directly relevant work experience. Do that instead of camp work if you can. I am happy to help you with this. Please look at my website for more free advice and skills lists: www.keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter Featured expert razume reviewer email at: results@keppiecareers.com

  • Extended Resume by hippocrane
    3 March 2008, 09:20 PM

    75.0
    You have a great start, but I would advise that you try to bump it up a notch by focusing on skills and accomplishments instead of a list of what you've done. Today, resumes need to be more than a laundry list of "stuff." Employers want you to do all of the work to highlight what you can do for them! I'm happy to help. Check out my site and blog: www.keppiecareers.com and blog at: www.keppiecareers.worpdress.com Miriam Salpeter, Featured razume expert reviewer, Keppie Careers

  • Public Relations Resume by RossP
    28 February 2008, 06:32 PM

    72.4
    Good start. I invite you to review my website for samples, skills lists, and ideas about your resume: www.keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter Featured expert reviewer, razume Keppie Careers

  • Job Search 2008 by Sarwat Reza
    28 February 2008, 06:14 PM

    0.0
    You have a lot of good work here. See my comments - focus more on accomplishments in your bullets. Eliminate a lot of the activities and awards in favor of skill summaries or a highlights section at the top. I'm happy to help if you have questions! Miriam Salpeter, Featured Expert Reviewer, razume www.keppiecareers.com

  • Internship Resume by rct1718
    28 February 2008, 06:03 PM

    51.0
    Ryan, it looks like you have a lot to offer, but you need to market yourself a lot better. Focus on skills with a Highlights section, let the reader know what you have to offer. See samples on my site: www.keppiecareers.com I have samples listed under "Transformation." I'm happy to help! Miriam Salpeter Featured Expert, razume Keppie Careers results@keppiecareers.com

  • Marketing Manager by smadigan1052
    28 February 2008, 05:51 PM

    53.6
    I hope you'll revise this and let me know to take another look at it! Please review my website: www.keppiecareers.com for ideas about how to format a resume that will be read! I would be happy to assist you with this. Contact me at: results@keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter, Featured Expert Reviewer, razume

  • Audio Engineering Administrative Assistant by cutchemist930
    23 February 2008, 04:03 PM

    65.2
    A good start, and impressive that you are using some specific skills and focusing on accomplishments ($ saved, etc.) See about describing things in a more sophisticated way, use a skills list and it will ramp up your resume several notches. I'm happy to help. My site is: www.keppiecareers.com Blog at www.keppiecareers.worpdress.com Miriam Salpeter

  • Marcom Pro by seline4
    23 February 2008, 03:51 PM

    52.2
    You have a good start here, but the format fails you. It is too much to get through all of these big text blocks. Use bullets and try to get on one page - use the whole page. Focus on accomplishments and how you can contribute instead of just listing a lot of things that you did. I'm happy to help... www.keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter

  • DFW_Analyst_Want 2 B Mgt. Consultant by dut99002
    23 February 2008, 03:42 PM

    67.7
    This is a great start. I would consider incorporating more specific skills. Unless you want to do exactly what you have done, you'll need to highlight the skills you've used in these positions to help the reader identify exactly what you can do for them. I invite you to review my website and blog for more information: www.keppiecareers.com blog: www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com Good luck! Miriam Salpeter

  • Senior Project Manager by PM
    23 February 2008, 03:27 PM

    0.0
    You have a good start here, but should adjust the format and the content of your descriptions. You should incorporate accomplishments and more skills. Your resume should really SHOW what you can do, not just list things you've done. If you would like more help, feel free to contact me at results@keppiecareers.com. Review info on my website and blog about resumes and formats: www.keppiecareers.com and www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com Miriam Salpeter

  • Resume! by manaxpower
    20 February 2008, 07:01 PM

    0.0
    Your resume needs a lot of updating. Think about skills and accomplishments. Include them. This is not a laundry list of what you've done; employers want to be convinced that you can do something for them. Consider a skills or accomplishments section at the top...I am happy to help. Visit my website: www.keppiecareers.com Follow links to "Transformations" for samples. email me at: results@keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter

  • Clinical Research Assistant by cutchemist930
    19 February 2008, 10:21 PM

    0.0
    Good start on incorporating some accomplishments - do more! Focus on skills! Please visit my website for more info: www.keppiecareers.com. I'm happy to help: results@keppiecareers.com Miriam Salpeter

  • Entry level finance 3 by mastadulog
    19 February 2008, 10:01 PM

    68.7
    comments...

  • Recent Grad by brown3ml
    19 February 2008, 09:44 PM

    32.3
    This resume isn't really doing you much good. You should totally rework it to include skills and accomplishments. The reader will have no idea what to do with you and how you can help them. I'd be happy to assist you with this: email results@keppiecareers.com. Visit my blog at www.keppiecareers.wordpress.com and my website at www.keppiecareers.com I don't mean to be harsh, but you really need to do some work here, or all of your education will go to waste. Miriam Salpeter

  • Music Attorney Assistant by cutchemist930
    19 February 2008, 01:00 PM

    0.0
    @keppiecareers.com

  • Post Graduation Job Resume by kpl
    19 February 2008, 12:48 PM

    0.0
    I'd love to review this resume, but I can't see it well enough. Maybe you can upload it again? Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com

  • Laurie Ryan by LaurieRyan
    18 February 2008, 10:21 PM

    0.0
    Laurie, I just typed a ton of comments, and the system lost them (I think). I don't have time to do this again, but please contact me for help with your resume. You need a lot of work, but obviously have a lot of potential. I have much experience helping transitioning professionals and would be happy to help you. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers www.keppiecareers.com. Email: results@keppiecareers.com

  • Laurie Ryan by LaurieRyan
    18 February 2008, 10:19 PM

    0.0
    Laurie, Your resume isn't doing you justice. First, most employers don't like a functional resume. A combination resume is better, but in any case, this resume totally hides everything that you'd want an employer to know in thick paragraphs. You need to think bullet points and scannable. This is way too much to review. Also, never use I, me, or my in a resume. There is so much I would suggest you revise here...A targeted highlights of qualifications section will help the reader zone in on your plans to transition careers. I am skilled at helping transitioning professionals revamp their resumes. Feel free to contact me for more specific information and review my website for suggestions: www.keppiecareers.com. Email at results@keppiecareers.com. I would guess that your current resume will not result in the next job you have in mind, but you obviously have a lot of potential and much to offer. I hope to hear from you. Miriam Salpeter Keppie Careers