Member: samb
samb's Resumes
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Financial Professional & Entrepreneur Version 2 7 reviews
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- 4 September 2008, 07:51 AM
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Draft Revised, DC Internship 8 reviews
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- 31 December 2007, 02:46 AM
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Real Estate Manager 9 reviews
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- 19 November 2007, 10:57 PM
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Air Systems Inc. 7 reviews
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- 18 November 2007, 07:32 PM
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Sy Resume 6 reviews
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- 26 October 2007, 12:39 PM
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CS Research Position 18 reviews
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- 18 October 2007, 12:22 AM
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Going to Law School 12 reviews
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- 29 September 2007, 10:07 AM
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GWBush 11 reviews
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- 16 September 2007, 07:05 PM
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Random Person 8 reviews
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- 30 August 2007, 11:32 PM
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Recent Grad 10 reviews
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- 30 August 2007, 10:37 PM
samb's Reviews
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30 September 2010, 01:51 PM
Overall, I like the format and layout. It looks clean and cohesive, however, your bullet language could use some more work. Mostly, I find the bullet language starting at the Activities and the Employment section a little weak. You should try adding more detail, using command/action verbs that are a little more impressive sounding and ultimately quantify your resume more fully. See your education bullets--you do a nice job quantifying them with % figures and other stats. That is highly important for the rest of your bullets as well. Additionally, scrap the Interests section, no one really cares at the resume stage (you can discuss these things in the interview, if they come up). Instead, incorporate a Skills section that lists hard skills such as competencies in computer software, specifically those of statistical/mathematical in nature. Best of luck.
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29 October 2009, 01:40 AM
First and most importantly, you need to keep your resume to 1 page. I think you should start by restructuring the content so that you have the following 3 sections in this order: 1) Work History 2) Education and 3) Computer/Technical Skills. Further remove your summary as it simply takes up room and does not add value. Keep in mind that your resume is a summary unto itself, and therefore, you don't need an additional summary on top. Regarding your discussion of each position, I think you need to look at some top rated resumes on Razume and see how bulleting language should be structured. Dont write paragraphs, just list one line per bullet and have about 5-3 bullets per position. Again, keep it to one page and you'll have much more luck.
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22 October 2009, 02:50 AM
A few suggestions. Mostly I'm making these suggestions with the impression that you'll be sending this resume to employers in the government or government contracting sector. First off, I think your experience is pretty minimal for government (as you mentioned you had previously focused on the auto industry), therefore, I suggest you try and get an internship or some type of temporary or possible part time position with a government contractor or agency if you are having difficulty breaking into that market initially. That being said, I think you utilize your objective statement to stress your future industry interest rather than just speak generally about working with a company or organization. Additionally, regarding education, I think you can provide a few more bullet points about your current academic work to highlight your transition into government. Simply listing one line about your 3-yr program is not enough, try 2 or 3 bullet points stressing why your current educational work could be beneficial to your future employer, specifically because you don't have the work experience within that industry at this time. Best of luck.
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24 September 2009, 06:55 PM
Henry, nice work on your first resume. A few pointers--take them or leave them. 1) I think this is really more in draft format than final stage. You need to add much more detail, if possible. Try adding bullet language underneath each one of your prior positions. You make think you don't have much to say, but try your best to list at least 2 or 3 achievements in bulleted format for each past position held. 2) If you're applying for a position at a bike shop, focus in on details regarding your ability to fix bikes, help people select the right bike for them and some general customer service experience. Just listing "Cycling" under interests is not enough. Be sure to post your next draft up and ask friend and family who know biking to review your resume. best of luck.
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2 June 2009, 11:48 AM
Much improved over the prior resume. I can tell you put serious thought into this latest draft and the benefits are clearly visible. I have a few other suggestions you may want to consider. First off, I noticed you used the word "was" in the first bullet on top. I would suggest removing "was" and replacing it with something like "actively managed" or use another 'action verb' that speaks more strongly to your audience. "Was" is a weak start and gives the reviewer the wrong impression, compared with the other action verbs you use to start your bullet language. Also on bullet language (which is where I think most improvements can be made) I would consider starting off with a more impressive task/achievement than "administrative duties". Take a look at my resume under my user profile, you'll see I generally keep the admin type bullets towards the bottom for any given position. Start off with a bullet showcasing your most impressive work "M&A", "Valuation", etc are all good, but need to be front and center, not behind admin duties. Another more general thought regarding language. You're coming from a financial/analytical background and want to stay in that field, therefore, you need to quantify your bullet language much more. For example, you need to use $ amounts, #s of people, amounts of time etc to showcase your achievements. This is a must for financial resumes. On your overall structure, I think it looks good, but you should consider combining some of the fields. I'm getting a little lost sorting through all of the section headers. What I'd recommend is you have the following 3 sections in this order: Work Experience, Education and Skills. Under skills you can combine Language and Computer skills. For awards and other items such as Violin, I don't think they have a place on your resume, simply because they take up valuable space without offering much value to the reviewer. The awards are from a while back and violin isn't relevant to answering the question each reciter is asking while reviewing your resume: "will this person add value to my organization in XYZ capacity?". Otherwise, things look good. With a fewer number of sections you'll have more room to add bullets in the areas of greatest importance: work experience. To that end, I think you should add more bullets to your IDF experience (which is highly impressive) and your more recent work experience. Best of luck and let me know how else I can help!
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2 May 2009, 06:27 PM
From your comment it seems like you'll be reformatting your resume on your mac. If not, I suggest differentiating your text styles from section headers to bullet language. On language, I think you need to move away from a professional profile, and simply start with your "Experience" first. Your resume is a summary, therefore, you do not need an additional summary prior to your work experience. If you want to keep the profile piece, that's fine, just make sure everything fits on one page when you're all done. For bullet language, you'll want to start every bullet item with an action verb. Here are some good examples to draw upon, but you'll want to use verbs that are most commonly used by graphic designers: http://www.quintcareers.com/action_skills.html Further, you'll want to include a skills section at the bottom of your resume. I believe this section is key for designers and many employers will be looking for competency in certain software applications such as adobe cs or other mac apps. Make sure to present such a list on your resume. Best of luck.
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2 May 2009, 06:03 PM
Big improvement over your prior resume, nice work. You can still make a number of additions/improvements, but overall, your structure and format looks good. Be sure to get some more feedback from friends who work in the transportation field. One of the big areas I can see additional improvement would be more details for your skills section. You've listed some very broad categories, and you don't provide any information regarding your level of ability/expertise in those categories. List any credentials, years of experience or some other information to give employers an idea of how competent you are in those categories. Best of luck.
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1 May 2009, 03:36 PM
Amanda, overall I think you have a great resume! It reads really well and all the information is presented consistently. The one area I was looking for (as will most employers) is a skills section. Although many recent grads have a similar skillset when it comes to computers, unfortunately leaving that information off can literally mean you don't get selected for an interview. That's because employers use keyword searching and often look for specific software applications or simply require basic computer skills (which I'm sure you have considering you managed to post your resume on Razume :). Anyway, I think you should consider a skills section with languages and computer skills--and be sure to include any computer applications you've worked with that are used in the marketing field--macs, adobe, powerpoint, etc. Additionally, you'll want to make sure everything fits nicely on one page. Therefore, to get things down to one page, I recommend taking out some of your non-essential bullet points for your work experience. Generally, I recommend 5-6 bullets for your most recent job, 3-4 bullets for older jobs and 1-2 bullets for your oldest experience. Best of luck and be sure to send this link around to others and request suggestions on your resume/referrals for positions (especially from those in the marketing field).
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1 May 2009, 03:28 PM
Overall, I think you have great content in your resume, but the presentation needs a lot of work. First, your text is centered, and makes it very difficult to read. Additionally, you're resume should only be one page, meaning you should cut out all non-essential information to provide the most concise summary of your experience. What is recommend is spending some time on Razume looking at top rated resumes in your career field--broadcasting/communications. Then I suggest you restructure your resume to have the following three sections in this order: "Education", "Work Experience" and "Skills". These are the sections employers are looking for the other information, including your objective is too vague and non-essential. Note: once you're a few years out from graduation, you'll want to move your education below Work Experience. Be sure to repost your resume after you've made some much needed revisions to your format. Best of luck.
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30 April 2009, 08:09 AM
Mark, overall, you have a lot of content to work with on your resume, however, your structure is very much atypical of a traditional resumes. Because of this deviation, I believe most recruiters simply cannot find the information the need fast enough to analyze your candidacy from your resume. What I suggest is that you restructure your resume completely, focusing in these three core sections in this order: "Work Experience", "Education & Training" and "Skills". That means, you don't need an objective, you don't need "customer service" and you don't need "trustworthy". To be honest, I'm a little confused by your choice of sections. Trustworthiness is a trait that you should convey through your work experience, not a section category. As a former recruiter, I just want to reiterate that your resume structure is chaotic and causes confusion for recruiters. For more ideas on the basic structure, take a look at some top rated resumes on Razume. Next, you need to put more emphasis on your work experience by spelling out your achievements for each prior job using bullet points. Again, you'll want to take a look at some top rated resumes for an idea of how to build your bullet language. The basic idea behind adding bullets to your work experience items is to show employers that you've not only held a position, but that you accomplished 3-4 significant achievements while holding that job. Writing your bullets will take the most time, but it will be well worth it, as it also helps you prepare for interview questions such as "what did you accomplish in your last few jobs" and "why should I hire you". Again you need a lot of work here and a total restructure. Once you reevaluate, I'm confident you'll build a much more coherent and organized resume, which will provide employers the information they need up front and center. Best of luck and be sure to send this link to others and request their feedback. Email me again, if you'd like a review on your next draft, once you've taken the time to make some updates.
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15 April 2009, 11:34 PM
Maranda, overall, I think you should reconsider you strategy for your resume. Five pages is much too long for any resume. You should try to trim down your resume to one page at most two. The key sections you need for your resume are the following in this order: Work Experience, Education, Leadership/Other and Skills. On strategy, I would try to narrow down your options for career fields then research top rated resumes on Razume within those career fields. Once you find some excellent resumes to emulate, begin rebuilding. You have a lot of work ahead of you, but I think you'll find you can leverage some of the ideas other have used to build their resumes. Best of luck.
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15 April 2009, 12:53 AM
Consider reworking the sections of your resume. List Education on top (if you're still in school), then Work Experience then Skills. The other sections are not needed, however, you could throw in a leadership/other section above Skills. The web design company is impressive, but it would be more impressive if you could list additional work experience. That is what I see as the major gap here, but isn't something you can't improve upon.
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15 April 2009, 12:51 AM
Good to see you're incorporating feedback and improving your resume from prior drafts. Something I still think is missing would be quantifiable information in your bullet language. As an engineering student, numerical values are key to highlight your achievements. "35 campers" is the only numerical value that jumps out, and to be honest, that's not really so impressive, if you're trying to get an engineering job. Founding a consulting firm, very impressive, what type of sales numbers do you have, how many clients, size of budget, number of employees, etc. Otherwise, things look good. Your skill set is very impressive and I'm sure you're do well in your career.
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11 April 2009, 10:32 PM
Thanks for reviewing my resume. Here are the comments I have for you. I agree with the other reviewer, you might want to make your name and contact info more prominent. Consider having it in the center. For your GPA, listing 2 decimal places is generally the standard, but I have see some resumes with 3. Lastly, for the bottom of your resume, remove the references and add a skills section listing languages and computer skills. Best of luck.
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10 April 2009, 07:38 PM
Ruthless, excellent work. Glad to see you've been excepted to Yale with a Dean's scholarship! Well deserved. Best of luck and look forward to seeing your future resumes with interesting work experience.
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10 April 2009, 07:21 PM
Your resume really looks more like a draft than a final version. You should start by looking at some top rated resumes on Razume--you can go to browse and sort resumes by rank/category. Once you get an idea of the style required for a great resume, you should try to flesh out the details of your bullet points for work experience and improve your skills section. On format, you should remove the left side bar and pull the text all the way to the left. Part of the reason your resume looks like a draft is the fact that you leave a huge white space on the left side. Also, when it comes to an objective, I'd get rid of that section. Start with education on top then list Work Experience then skills--that's what employers want to see. Lastly, consider improving your job titles to sounds more interesting. "Intern" is a pretty dull title, try something like "Legal Intern" or "Finance Intern" for example. Best of luck.
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10 April 2009, 07:14 PM
Autumn, I think you've done a nice job with your resume. Critiquing graphic design resumes is particularly challenging considering the variety of opinions out there. However, I can provide you some content oriented comments and leave the graphical/format portion up to you. On content, I think you reuse many of the same action worked to start off each bullet. I see "designed" and "update" a lot and I suggestion you rethink other words that are perhaps more reflective of your management or project coordinator role as a freelance designer. Further, emphasize your entrepreneurial skills which you've gained as a designer. For example, if you established a company to charge clients, make sure to list yourself as president or manager rather than just designer. Again, the formatting for design resumes is challenging, given conventional resumes should not have large purple letters, whereas a design resume should show some personal flair, reflective of your design style. My only comment on the format side is that you might want to have one "marketing" type resume that's more flashy for freelance work, and one that's more traditional if applying to full time positions. Best of luck and thanks for providing reviews/critiques for other graphic designers who have posted resumes on Razume.
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10 April 2009, 12:03 PM
Overall I think you're moving in the right direction, but there's a lot of room for improvement. Try looking at some top rated resumes in your fields of interest of ideas of how to improve your format and content. Also, I'd suggest listing a GPA if above 3.0 and moving your skill section to the bottom. Lastly, you need a lot more detail in your bulleting language. For example "tutor for German students" makes your resume look like a draft, not something you'd want to send out to recruiters. I saw your post on Twitter--to get more reviews, be sure to tweet out your resume on Twitter and ask for feedback: http://www.razume.com/documents/8277
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10 April 2009, 11:15 AM
Ashley, I like what you've done with your resume. I have a few suggestions, but overall, it’s impressive. On format, I'd consider minimizing the font for the section headers ("Education, Work Exper", etc.) and starting your bullet language farther to the left. Doing this will help you more fully fill the page. Otherwise, at first glance, you run the risk of looking as though your resume lacks content, which is not the case given your work experience to date. Additionally, try to add more language behind each bullet point. When extending your bullet points try to focus on quantifiable values to describe your achievements at work. For example, you mention "50% of overall competition score", which is the type of information you want throughout your resume. Further, ensure these values relate to advertising, your chosen field. Best of luck, and be sure to send out your link (razume.com/review/resume/9057) on twitter and elsewhere to request reviews. Best of luck!
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16 March 2009, 07:58 PM
Overall, you have excellent work experience, however, I think your format needs a lot of work. If you look at some top rated resumes on Razume in the accounting field, I believe you will see that the use of bullet points is much more effective than long blocks of text. Try to emulate other resumes that standout. Regarding length, although you have a lot of experience, you may want to consider a one page resume. Try both and see which one gets a better response. Feel free to repost your next draft and make sure to request reviews from colleagues in your field. Best of luck.
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30 December 2008, 01:44 PM
Ben, great looking resume, thanks for using the resume builder on Razume. Overall, the content and layout look great. I think you could add some more detail to your bullet points under the first few work history items. Also, consider using the skills section to list level of fluency/exposure to various texts and languages. You'll have to see resumes from other Jewish day school teachers to determine the set of skills you should be listing. Best of luck with your search! I'm confident you'll find a great position with your level of experience.
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20 November 2008, 04:42 PM
PKB, Overall, the biggest issue I find with your resume is the lack of consistency. You seem to have a lot of good educational experience, but I do not have any idea where you'd like to go professionally. Recruiters mostly like to see resumes that tell a story--one which points in the right direction for their company and the skill set they desire. Additionally, you provide very little detail to your bullet points, which makes your resume look empty and put together in a hurry. What I suggest is that you consider restructuring your resume. Think about the industry you would like to work in and tailor your resume exclusively for that industry. You can target multiple industries, but make sure to draft a new resume (or modify your resume significantly) for each industry you pursue. Further, you should list many fewer jobs and at MUCH more detail in your bullet points for each job. For example, you could list 5 jobs that are most relevant to the industry you are targeting and have 5 to 6 bullet points for each work history item (always best to have more bullet points for recent items and fewer for older jobs). Again, the goal is to target your resume and tell a compelling story. Take a look at some top rated resumes on Razume for examples of what works well regarding bullet point language. Best of luck.
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3 September 2008, 10:58 PM
Sorry to hear about the downsizing, the economy certainly is getting people down, but I don't think you have much to worry about. You have excellent experience and know how to present yourself well on paper. Nice work showing your achievements with numerical values! Maybe you can help others improve their resumes on the same level.
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3 September 2008, 10:56 PM
Your overall structure needs to be reevaluated. Consider a traditional approach without the long career summary. Your resume is a summary on it's own, you don't need an additional summary upfront. Also, rather than just listing "store manager" spruce up the title by listing the type of store manager, that might show the right career progression you're looking for. Lastly, remove the activities section at the bottom, makes it less professional I think.
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5 August 2008, 11:06 PM
One thing I noticed: don't list your salary in your cover letter. In salary negotiations, the person who throws out the first number will almost always loose. If suggested by the candidate, it's only going down, if buy the company, only going up. Think about it that way. Also, consider listing all technical skills down at the bottom in one section. Overall very impressive skills.
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25 July 2008, 08:23 AM
You need to get some more work experience, but you have a few more years to make that happen. I like the format for the most part, but consider moving the section headers left. Also, think about the career fields you might want to enter and start getting internship experience towards that end. Lastly, make sure to beef up your skills section. Computer skills is a good start.
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25 July 2008, 08:18 AM
The format could use some work, but it's otherwise a good resume. I would focus on removing the profile section and putting your work history items in bullets. It's hard to read blocks of text, bullets work more effectively.
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25 July 2008, 08:15 AM
This is a really good resume for high school level. If you're looking to get into investment banking, you'll want to have a skills section at the bottom. Take a look at some top rated finance resumes for examples.
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7 July 2008, 12:40 PM
Great start here with your resume. You should consider re thinking the basic strategy of your resume prior to filling in more detail. For one, I would structure your resume in this order given you are still in school: 1) Education, 2) Work Experience, 3) Activities/Awards and 4) Skills. All other sections including Objective, Marital Status and References should be removed. Once you get your order figured out, then you start added quantifiable details to your employment section. Take a look at some other top rated finance resumes for more ideas. Best of luck!
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11 June 2008, 08:23 AM
Kenny, great resume. A few minor comments, but otherwise looks great. 1) I think you should combine the internship section with your work experience section. From the title of the intern positions it's clear it wasn't full time work, but you don't want to segment that section. 2) Considering removing the "(my father)" parentheses from your academic research section. Although you may have worked with your father, it seems like you don't need to list that on your resume. 3) Consider adding a skills section at the bottom to highlight language/computer skills. How else would people know you're fluent in Spanish?
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30 May 2008, 08:55 PM
Ras, thanks for posting your resume and providing so many exceptional reviews to the community. You're truly a resume expert and have great insight for job seekers. I would really like to hear your thoughts on Razume and how we can improve the site for job seekers and reviewers. Be sure to send me an email at sam@razume.com and I'll fill you in on our exciting plans for Razume. Thanks again, Sam Blum, Co-founder & CEO, Razume, Inc
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30 May 2008, 09:19 AM
Excellent format. Nice work with this resume. Continue with your great reviews for others.
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14 May 2008, 02:11 PM
Stephen, I like your resume, nice work. You can make some improvements as well, mostly to the formatting and presentation of your content. I'd strongly suggest bullet points for your information. Big blocks of text are skipped over by most recruiters. You should also emphasize your employer names more. Best of luck and be sure to share your knowledge with others.
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12 May 2008, 06:54 PM
Hyl2007, I think your resume could use some work, but you have the basic building blacks in place. Your current resume over emphasizes your dates and under emphasizes your content, specifically you recent work history. See my comments on top of your resume. Consider using a different format/layout. Take a look at some top rated marketing resumes for examples. Best of luck.
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12 May 2008, 06:19 PM
I like the overall presentation and format, but I think the language can be improved. More specifically, the bullet items for the most recent position should over-power the other positions. Build your resume like an upside down pyramid, where the emphasis is placed on the most recent achievements. I like the use of numerical values to show experience. See other comments. Best of luck.
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9 May 2008, 06:28 PM
Angie, I think your resume has great potential, but it looks like it's still in draft format. I'd focus on building out sections and bullet points to define your resume for recruiters. Take a look at some top rated resumes for examples of what works well. Regarding your content, I think you should focus on quantifying your experience. You did this for a few of your items, but try to focus on numerical values more. Best of luck.
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25 April 2008, 07:52 AM
Vptrice, good start here with your resume. Comparing your chronological version to your functional draft, I would suggest you stay with this chron version as it's more clear to employers your work history. The functional version is much less consistent and deemphasizes your work history, which is really your selling point. You do have enough work experience to merit a two page resume, but I would also consider going to one page. I don't particularly care for the "Highlights of Effectiveness" section. It's not traditionally included in a resume, take a look at some top rated resumes in finance/accounting or people management for more examples. Please see my suggestions on top of your resume for more details. At this stage, I'd suggest requesting more feedback from knowledgeable peers in your field by sending them the link to your resume on Razume. The more feedback from the right people, the better. Best of luck.
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17 April 2008, 11:04 PM
It's a bit like a game of comparison, but I've figured out the differences between each of your three resumes. Third one includes course work, first one has different date/location formatting. Of the three, I think this one is the best. I have a few general comments for you, but I suggest you request a few reviews from experts in your field. Overall, your resume looks really good. I'm sure you'll land the job you're looking for.
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8 April 2008, 08:29 AM
Daniel, nice improvement here. Your content shows a great deal of professionalism, I only have a few suggestions on format and adding a skills section. Best of luck.
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4 April 2008, 08:16 AM
Tsing, consider going for a one page resume here. Although you have quality experience behind you, you will get much better results with a clear, concise one page resumes. Additionally, consider removing or reducing the text in your highlights section. Your resume is a summary, therefore it does not require an additional summary at the top. Just my two cents. Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress by commenting back below your resume.
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4 April 2008, 08:08 AM
Bill, be sure to block your contact information the next time you upload your resume. Overall, nice work here. I would consider removing the summary, but otherwise your sections look good. Your format is the area you can improve the most, but even your presentation looks pretty good. I like how easy it is to find your employer and title. Few people realize this fact and make life difficult for recruiters. Best of luck and be sure to share your resume writing knowledge for the benefit of others on Razume and elsewhere.
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3 April 2008, 11:15 AM
Benoithv, I like how you've taking a one page approach to your resume, even though you have 10+ years experience. May professionals, specifically with academic backgrounds use a multi page CV approach to a resume, which is not desired by many employers. That being said, I think you will need to present your experience with language favored by management consultants. Your work experience currently shows excellence in academia, so I suggest reviewing top rates resumes on Razume for an idea of what works well. I have a few other comments, but overall it looks good. Consider requesting reviews on Razume from contacts currently working in consulting. They will have the best advice regarding specific language and your overall strategy. Best of luck.
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30 March 2008, 09:39 AM
Dave, you have a good start to your resume, but this is very much a draft compared to what it can become (you mention this in the title of course). At first glance it looks like you need to gain more work experience, ideally some internship experience in International Relations. You have a solid GPA and academic background so obtaining an internship level position should not be too difficult. Additionally, be sure to block your contact information on future drafts when uploading to Razume. But given you're showing your email address, you may consider creating a new address, which will look more professional to recruiters. It might seem like a small change, but recruiters notice, especially if they're writing you an email to tell you if you've been hired or not. Overall, take a look at some top rated resumes in international relations on Razume. Do your research and add much more detail. Best of luck.
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30 March 2008, 09:27 AM
Tvwill, You've done a nice job with your resume content and describing your mid-term career objectives. If you are writing a resume and not a CV, will will be best off with a one page resume. Currently, you don't fill the first page fully, making a poor first impression. Consider aggregating some of the employment items and opening the margins on the left and right sides of your resume. You will be amazed at how much more professional your resume will look by completely filling one page. I have a few other comments on the content side, but not much. Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.
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30 March 2008, 09:16 AM
Usrbrv8, at first glance, I do not get the feeling that your resume is as professionally organized as it could be. You need to go back to the drawing board on the formatting side and select an approach that is less cluttered. Your multi column approach is highly unorthodox and should be reconsidered. Take a look at top rated resumes on Razume for a better idea of what works. On thee content side, your resume is pretty good. I have some comments for you, but you should be ok as long as you add more detail about what you accomplished, not what positions you held. Best of luck.
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30 March 2008, 08:59 AM
Jason, overall you have a very strong resumes. Your content is very impressive, however, consider positing a comment at the bottom to clarify your career goals. That way the community can better valuate your resume relative to your future plans. If you are venturing into the IT side of the financial world, I believe you are well situated. Morgan Stanley experience is very impressive, but you should consider adding more detail to that top level work experience item. See my comments on your resume, but I believe you require only formatting/language changes. Additionally, thanks for your great review on another resume. After more reviews and building your karma balance, you will gain respect as a knowledgeable member on Razume.
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26 March 2008, 11:37 PM
Rey, nice work on your resume and thank you for the highly detailed comment on Duncan's resume. I have a few suggestions for you, but overall you seem to know how to market yourself professionally on paper. Although you have been in the work force for 15+ years, I suggest preparing a one page resume. Although you fill two pages nicely, recruiters will have a much easier time determining the essential items of your candidacy from a one page resume. To fit your experience onto one page, I suggest removing the summary section (your resume is a summary to begin with, no further summary needed), removing your least relevant experience and taking off some bullet points from your most recent job (4-5 bullets should suffice). If you decide to stay with two pages, I don't have many comments. Consider adding dates to your education section and removing or shortening your summary section as you can save that language for your cover letters. Again, nice work here and looking forward to seeing future reviews from you on Razume.
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26 March 2008, 01:29 PM
I agree with Miriam, bullet points need to be added. Otherwise it looks pretty good. The profile piece at the top could also be removed and saved for your covers letters.
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23 March 2008, 11:54 AM
Daniel, looks like you have some solid achievements academically and other wise. Being from the US, I am unaware of the standards for resumes in Australia. I suggest emailing this link to knowledgeable peers who can help you fine tune your resume. I would suggest, however, that you create a one page version of your resume if you are applying to any major firms. On this one page, stick with Education, Work Experience and Skills as your core sections. Given you are still in school your strategy should be to market yourself properly through high academic marks and interesting work experience with some relevancy to the positions you're applying for. As a 2010 grad, you should try to narrow down the type of consulting you're interested in and build your internship/summer experience accordingly. A career strategy is key and it seems like you're making the right steps. Best of luck and be sure to provide feedback on other resumes on Razume.
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23 March 2008, 11:42 AM
Your second draft looks good. Nothing jumps out as a major change. As I mentioned, feel free to email us at contact[at]razume.com and I can pass your resume along. Also, be sure to share you knowledge with others on Razume with reviews and comments. Best of luck.
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20 March 2008, 08:17 PM
Cjohann, overall you have a very solid resume. First thing, you need to keep it to one page! It looks sloppy to have two. Additionally, what's your strategy for approaching the Defense Contracting job market? I suggest using your alumni network GW heavily as many alum stay in DC in those positions. See additional comments. Good luck with your search!
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17 March 2008, 09:13 AM
atan, you have a good start here with your resume, but you should try to professionalize the language as much as possible. Additionally, the objective does not add value if you don't have a specific focus. Prior to updating your resume, I'd take some time to evaluate your strengths and form a strategy for approaching the job market. You have some solid business experience, so where would you like to go next? Feel free to comment at the bottom if you have questions or want to clarify your goals.
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15 March 2008, 10:25 AM
Yekcaz, very impressive experience with the Fed. I have a few comments, but nothing major. Be sure to share your knowledge with others on Razume. I am sure you will find success with your government associate position. Be sure to let us know how things turn out.
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13 March 2008, 08:30 AM
Drew, for your first resume, you've done an outstanding job. And yes, for most resumes it is silly to list an objective. Experts have differing thoughts on objective statements, however, if it's not adding significant value to your resume, I suggest removing it. Think about it--is that the first thing you want recruiters seeing about you? So instead of your objective on your resume, include similar language in your cover letters. All things considered, the rest of your resume should be tailored to specific employers and should reflect your overall job seeing strategy. I have a few other comments, but otherwise, nice work! Be sure to share your knowledge with others in the Razume community.
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12 March 2008, 01:58 PM
Ted, nice work with your resume. For future reference, be sure to block all of your contact information. Overall, it's clear you know how to write a resume. I have a few suggestions, but nothing big. Be sure to share your knowledge with others on Razume, specifically those looking to go into IBanking. Best of luck.
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10 March 2008, 11:37 PM
JSlovesBM, nice improvement here, well done! You can still refine your resume further. What's your strategy for approaching the job market? Don't display that information on your resume, but save it for your cover letter. Rather than having an objective statement up top, your resume should speak through your strategy, which is reinforced by your cover letter and interview discussions. Consider an internship in sports marketing or your career of choice to build your case for working in that field. Best of luck.
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10 March 2008, 11:28 PM
Hdmd, you resume need some major improvements. I suggest you start by looking at top rated resumes on Razume--get a feel for what works well and why. Then you should form a strategy and approach as your resume will act as a tool to execute your overall job search plans. Additionally, I'm interested to hear that you want to spend your entire career with your next company--why would you prefer that situation? In today's job market, mobility is king--if you're not moving up then you should move out. Just keep in mind that moving jobs can be beneficial. Gone are the days of the 40 year pension. Best of luck and be sure to comment back on the box below if you questions or would like to provide further clarification on your career goals.
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10 March 2008, 01:35 PM
Christine, a nice start here--I like your format, but you need to focus on your core sections: Work Experience, Education and Skills. By posting a comment below, be sure to tell us more about your goals as a public relations professional. What type of firms are you considering? What positions would you like to fill? Best of luck.
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9 March 2008, 10:07 AM
dfrntdrmmr, you have all the basic information on your resume, but it needs a lot of work. You should review some top rated resumes on Razume in sales for a better idea of what works well in today's market. I have some comments for your, but be sure to email your resume from Razume and request reviews from friends and others in your field. Best of luck and be sure to post your revised resume once updated.
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6 March 2008, 09:47 PM
Fudgy, I really like what you've done with your resume. You clearly know how to put together a professional resume and I encourage your to share your knowledge with the greater Razume community. Overall, I'm a little unsure where you are looking to go with your career. You have some great experience, but it's not focused in one or two areas. Please be sure to elaborate on your career goals further in your profile. I have a few comments for you, see left. Best of luck.
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3 March 2008, 11:08 PM
Mdflyons, interesting start to your resume. You have an excellent academic background, but have taken a non-traditional approach to building your resume. I would say you should have the following categories in this order: Education, Work Experience, Skills. Be sure to look at other top rated resumes on Razume. See other comments left. Best of luck.
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2 March 2008, 10:49 PM
Hippocrane, nice work with your resume. I particularly like how you've summarized your work experience section. I believe you are better off with a 1 page resume, as the second page does not add much to your professional resume (with the exception of the skills section.) Best of luck with your job search.
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26 February 2008, 10:33 PM
Ross, nice work here with your resume. I think you have great potential and your focus in gaining PR experience will pay off. I have a few minor suggestions, but overall I encourage you to request feedback from those in your industry. Best of luck and keep us posted on your job search.
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25 February 2008, 10:49 PM
Rwarner, I like your approach with your resume. You present yourself well, but you need to work on the content. If you're interested in BEPP, you should gain more practical internship/work experience in that particular field. Try to network your way into an internship or temporary position, which can lead to greater opportunities down the road. The goal should be to find more of a focus and build expertise. It's a competitive job market, but I'm sure you'll do well. Best of luck going forward.
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24 February 2008, 10:57 PM
I must say, you have really impressive work experience. I would almost hire you myself, however, you need to work on your presentation. The format leaves much to be desired and you don't list any educational background. As the last person mentioned, you would be better off with a one page resume if possible. Comments aside, I'm very interested to hear where you end up. Please keep us informed on your job search progress. Also, be sure to share your knowledge with others in the Razume community.
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24 February 2008, 02:13 PM
Sarazainab, overall I like your resume. At points it's a little difficult to extract the key information. For example, I don't think the "Skills Gained" portion adds value, it only clutters the flow. I have a few more comments, but overall it's pretty good.
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24 February 2008, 01:58 PM
Kef516, You have great experience given you're not graduating until 2010. Nice work. I you can make noticeable improvements to your resume by adding more description to your work history items. See comments left, best of luck with school and your job/internship search.
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22 February 2008, 01:09 PM
Overall, this is an excellent resume. The format is clear and the content is increasingly detailed from top to bottom. Given the number of potential career fields selected, I suggest working on your career focus and then tailor your resume accordingly. Best of luck and be sure to share your knowledge with the Razume community!
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19 February 2008, 09:01 AM
Cutchemist, you have a nice start to your resume, but can make a few significant improvements to impress recruiters. Overall, your format is on the right track, just make sure you keep things consistent. Additionally, try to add another item for work experience and move you skills section to the bottom. The idea is to better fill the page, making your experience look more substantial. Best of luck.
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17 February 2008, 12:12 PM
Excellent improvement over the prior resume. I really like your format and position descriptions. Best of luck and be sure to share your knowledge with others in the community and elsewhere!
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17 February 2008, 12:03 PM
mastadulog, again great improvement here over your prior two resumes. It's easy to see the high level of professionalism in this resume vs your initial resume. I would still encourage you to get more experience in the financial section and email your resume from Razume to others in the financial world who could help you get your foot in the door on Wall St. I have a few minor comments at this point, but nothing big. Be sure to share your knowledge with your peers and others in the Razume community. Best of luck.
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17 February 2008, 11:54 AM
Nice improvement over the last resume. You've really cleaned things up well. I still have a few formatting suggestions, but otherwise, You've done a great job with the language and flow of your resume. Be sure to share your knowledge with others in the Razume community.
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13 February 2008, 08:59 AM
You have a good start to your resume, but you really need to work on the format and presentation. First place to start is to determine the right sections and order of those sections in your resume. Take a look at some top rated resumes on Razume, see what works well for others in your field. See additional comments left. Best of luck!
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11 February 2008, 10:32 PM
Felipe, I don't speak Spanish, but, I can send your resume for review by some friends who do. Also, be sure to remove your contact information from your resume.
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11 February 2008, 10:23 PM
JJwalk, I like your resume, but you can make some important improvements. First off, try using bullet points, rather than paragraph format. Also, if you are still in school, you should move your education section to the top. Best of luck and be sure to repost your resume once your improvements are made.
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10 February 2008, 08:00 PM
Robert, nice work with your resume. First impression, you might want to consider a 1 page resume that focuses on your core experience most applicable to the jobs you are applying for. To reach 1 page consider reformatting. Take a look at some top rated resumes on Razume for an idea of formats that really look more professional and fill the page. If you don't want to go with 1 page, at least keep your formatting consistent and move your education above computer skills. See my comments, and best of luck.
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9 February 2008, 09:13 AM
I agree somewhat with Ruthless, about your resume. From his resume, it shows he has Wall Street experience, so he knows what he's talking about. That being said, I believe you have enough core experience, especially with John Hancock, to get your foot in the door. Work your network as much as possible, and send contacts your resume for review on Razume. If they tell you the same, then work on more financial sector experience. Overall, you've done a nice job improving the look and feel of your resume. Again, keep us posted and be sure to share the knowledge you've gained on Razume with others. Best of luck.
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7 February 2008, 10:45 PM
Mastadulog, next time you post your resume, don't bother changing your contact info. On Razume it's easy to block and personal information. You have a good start with your resume, but it will need some work if you want to be considered by Wall Street firms. You have some solid work experience, but you need to add more detail to make yourself seem as impressive as possible. See comments. Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.
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6 February 2008, 10:03 PM
Payam, interesting post regarding date format. As a person who has reviewed many resumes for a large financial firm, I can tell you that it simply looks less professional to have mixed date formats. Most recruiters will not consider the exact dates for each item you have on your resume. Instead, recruiters will scan your resume and see that it's sloppy. That being said, I'd suggest stay with one format. On my resume I use YYYY-YYYY (ie: 2007-2008). Sometimes it's best to go with a simple, easily identifiable format. I hope you find that counter argument useful.
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2 February 2008, 06:55 PM
I agree with Ruthless, you need some work on your format. I suggest going with 2 pages, and cutting out some experience if needed. Focus on what's important to a potential employer. Unlike most of the resumes on Razume, you have more than enough description, try to tighten things up a bit.
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30 January 2008, 09:50 PM
Payam, to start, be sure to block your contact information going forward. Overall, you have a good resume, but can make some important improvements. I agree the dates need to be consistent. See other comments
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26 January 2008, 03:32 PM
Dan, tremendous improvement from your prior resume. Your new resume is MUCH more professional looking. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sure your hard work reformating your resume will pay off. Keep us updated on your job search progress!
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24 January 2008, 01:10 PM
Rud, well done. You have a great resume, a strong GPA, I'm sure you'll find success in the banking world. You can make key changes that will significantly improve your resume. See my comments left.
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22 January 2008, 10:35 PM
Also, remove high school information at this stage
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22 January 2008, 10:33 PM
Dan, good start with your resume. First of all, be sure to block your contact information when you repost your resume. You have some work to do to prepare your resume for the financial world. Hopefully my comments help. Keep us posted on your job search and best of luck.
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21 January 2008, 10:43 PM
Andrew, you have a good start to your resume, however, you will need some work to impress recruiters in the Ibanking/Hedge Fund world. Please find my comments to the left. For a better idea of what succeeds, you can find a number of top rated finance resumes on Razume. I suggest you start there. Also, take a look at my resume post college, you may consider using this font at style: http://razume.com/resume/view/22
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14 January 2008, 07:18 PM
Your resume is greatly improved, well done! I still believe a few improvements can be made. See highlights for suggestions.
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14 January 2008, 07:01 PM
Duhau, everyone can see you have a great resume. I have a few suggestions for you, which you can find highlighted. Be sure to request reviews from others in management consulting to get the best possible feedback before applying. Best of luck and keep us informed!
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13 January 2008, 10:47 PM
This is a great resume. One of the top resumes for investment banking on Razume. I have a few comments, which you can see. Keep up the great work and be sure to give others advice in the community.
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7 January 2008, 07:56 PM
Khawar, I agree with Ruthless, need some work, specifically on the order of your resume. Take a look at some top rated resumes on Razume for suggestions. The flow of your resume is off. Consider using the following order: Work experience, education, Leadership/ Accomplishments, Computer Skills. Also, use the blast box at the bottom to request reviews from others' working in Investment banking. They can provide some useful advice. Best of luck, repost when you've made some edits!
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16 December 2007, 02:47 PM
Your resume is exceptional for your area of focus. Unfortunately, I do not have the expertise to formally review this resume. None the less, I have a few comments, which you can find on your resume. I recommend email blasting your resume to colleagues that share your expertise. Further, I encourage you to share your resume writing knowledge with others in the community. Best of luck with your work and I look forward to seeing you comments in the community.
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12 December 2007, 06:33 PM
Jason, I saw your previously posted resume. This revised resume is greatly improved! Well done. I still have a few comments. At this point I suggest blasting it out to people in the industry. I just sent it to a friend of mine who works in TV/Internet Broadcasting. Even send it to previous employers for their opinion. Best of luck, and let us know how things turn out.
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9 December 2007, 09:40 PM
Overall, your resume is very solid. You're also coming from a very good business school. I have some comments on your language. The format is fine. I also suggest renaming the last part of your resume. For a more focused review, it would help if you listed the job or career you are seeking.
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4 December 2007, 10:04 PM
Dan, you're off to a good start, but you can make tremendous improvements. I would start with revamping your format, then focusing on content later. The biggest thing I see off the bat: You're missing locations for your work experience. That is so key in this global economy! Where is News Channel 8? Every city has a news Channel 8--get my point. Take a look at some top rated resumes in the community for a better idea of what really succeeds. See my text bubbles for more details. Best of luck with your venture!
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3 December 2007, 08:28 PM
Sonia, well done on your resume! Matha Stewart experience--that's really unique abd exciting, I wonder what it's like to work for her? I have a few suggestions, take a look at the text bubbles. And nice coffee cup!
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2 December 2007, 10:39 PM
Oldschool, Very nice resume. You clearly have excellent work experience, my only comments are on format. I disagree with the other comment about putting experience on top. You're still in school so education should be first--nice job. For more comments scroll over my text bubbles.
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2 December 2007, 03:49 PM
Paul, your resume is a good start, but it needs some work. Also, keep it to one page. Scroll over my text bubbles for more info. Best of luck!
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30 November 2007, 05:46 PM
This is an excellent resume. I expect this resume to be one of the top rated on Razume. Next time tag your resume with management consulting, so people can find it more easily. See my text bubbles for comments.
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30 November 2007, 12:41 AM
I agree, your format needs major work. Other than that, you have good content on your resume. Hope this helps!
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30 November 2007, 12:40 AM
I agree, your format needs major work. Other than that, you have good content on your resume. Hope this helps!
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27 November 2007, 10:19 PM
Great work. Your format can be improved. Take a look at top rated resumes in the community for Econ and History
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27 November 2007, 09:51 PM
Take a look at the text bubbles for more info. See resume 22 for a good example: http://dev.razume.com/resume/view/22
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18 November 2007, 07:16 PM
Overall, I think you have a good, clear format for your resume. I would suggest saving the top level information for your cover letter (objective). I think you can also make some big improvements to the language, specifically by quantifying your resume. (See the blue highlight and text box). Also, change your job titles to make them sound more important than just 'intern'. Take a look at other top rated marketing resumes for examples of great language.
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18 November 2007, 07:00 PM
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4 November 2007, 01:22 PM
Overall, I think you have an excellent resume! I have a few comments for you on your format and summary. 1) From my personal experience as a resume reviewer for a large multi-national company, I do not like a resume objective or resume summary. The whole point of a resume is that it is a summary, and therefore, does not need a separate summary. Your cover letter can explain these items. If you want to have something up top to assist your cover letter, I suggest removing the summary and only keep the objective. It's unconventional to have both, look at other Razume resumes, you'll see. 2) What about a line for undergraduate experience? It can only add to the depth of your resume, as you have the academic experience you need from your masters program. 3) I think the bullets are best filled in black. It's more traditional and makes the format look more professional. Lastly, 4) I would try quantifying your resume more (some examples are highlighted in red). Especially for the financial world, having quantified values in your experience is key. It can be # of people, amount of time, $ amounts, just factual numerical values. Again, overall your resume is great, these are just a few suggestions to make it stand out a little better. Best of luck!
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18 October 2007, 12:36 AM
A few comments. Overall, you have very good experience, but your formatting is very poor. 1) Remove objective, it does not add anything valuable to your resume. 2) Add more spacing between your sections and jobs. 3) Move all dates to the side. You should also move your job tile under the company/org. name (please see a top rated resume format for further clarification). 4) Remove the boxing, it is disruptive to the flow of the resume. Overall well done, just make the formatting better.
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14 October 2007, 10:37 PM
Well done with your resume! You have great experience. You need to improve a few elements. 1) be sure people can see your font size for the best companies on your resume. 2) Remove high school at this stage. All the best!
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30 September 2007, 10:51 PM
Salary expectation might be a bit high--until you graduate law school. Only Comments: 1) You have too much job history listed. Take off the least relevant pieces at the end. 2) Remove high school, unless you are
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30 September 2007, 10:50 PM
Salary expectation might be a bit high--until you graduate law school. Only Comments: 1) You have too much job history listed. Take off the least relevant pieces at the end. 2) Remove high school, unless you are
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29 September 2007, 10:12 AM
Excellent format. I bet you will get a good job after graduating. Remove high school--only comment.
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12 September 2007, 01:11 PM
To clarify, I mean describe your career goals to the Razume community in your user profile. I do not suggest adding them to your resume, as it looks great with the current sections you have.
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12 September 2007, 01:04 PM
Welcome to Razume! You've impressed me with your web company experience? How's that going for you? Overall your resume looks great. I can tell you have spend a good amount of time learning from others how to write resumes. Hopefully you can pass your knowledge on to others. I have a few small comments. First, make it more clear how you are the owner or founder of you web company. If you are the owner, why is it part of Varsity Group Inc? Second, start each bullet as an individual sentence. Don't start with 'also'. Further, you should break out your. Skills and activities to make your activities stand out better. Lastly, make sure to quantify your resume. Meaning, explain your roles in terms of $, time, number of people. And make sure to describe your interests and career goals. That way peple know the type of companies or orgs your are looking to join. Again great job! Share your knowledge!
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12 September 2007, 12:07 PM
Great meeting you yesterday. I really liked the hear your feedback on Razume. Please be sure to post your cover letters and I will personally review them along with the rest of the community. Just email me at sam@razume.com when they are up.
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11 September 2007, 05:36 PM
Well done, I must say!
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5 September 2007, 11:06 AM
yeaah
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31 August 2007, 11:17 AM
This looks good
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30 August 2007, 11:40 PM
Not bad for a random resume. But too much crap on here. No one is going to read all of this. And don't have skills in quotes. That looks odd.
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29 August 2007, 05:48 PM
Yeah it's pretty good. But don't think you're smarter than me because you have Japanese characters on your resume. All and all the Vector marketing is your most impressive work. I think you should play up your Vector experience and make sure they know your ability to sell ice to eskimos.