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Introduce yourself first! Who are you?
A greeting would be beneficial.
Its a bit long. See what you can do to shorten it. Make a list of points you want to convey and use that to narrow down your paragraphs.
If youre using a template and sending it out to several companies, it will show. It is best to write a fresh cover letter for each position you are applying for.
Comments
The language of the letter sounds impersonal and cookie-cutter-ish. I doubt a letter like this would really convince someone to look into your resume unless they had very few applicants, which in this economy is not likely. Make the introduction more personal and engaging and let your work experience and abilities show.